Brian said...

Things Brian said. Volume 2 (April 2010-May 2011) now available in .pdf (free) or paperback (at cost)!

Volume 1 (April 2009-April 2010) is also still available.

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Volume 1
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Volume 2
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May
11th
Fri
  • Chel: Do we need liquor?
  • Brian: Lick her? I hardly know her.
May
9th
Wed
There should be a requirement that if you’re gonna post ab pictures, you have to post photos of your whole family. I mean, some people just look like that.
May
8th
Tue
Your spirit doesn’t match your size.
May
5th
Sat
Those are the three women who could maybe make me nervous [if I met them in person]…. I was going to say, I’m sorry none of those are blondes or look anything like you, but I’m pretty comfortable with cute blonde women.
— Catherine Zeta Jones, Rachel Weiss, and maybe Penelope Cruz
May
3rd
Thu
I could tell he was up late working; he sent me a bunch of links to YouTube videos.
— about Darrin
May
2nd
Wed
I can tell I’m emotional because I just keep thinking of country songs.
May
1st
Tue
Don’t try to high-5 me. You haven’t done shit yet.
— after he told me he had my sabbatical workout planned, and I tried to high-5 him
Apr
25th
Wed
Maybe it’s not so weird—I like you, too.
— on the cat’s strange need to be right next to me while I work (or sleep, or watch TV)
Apr
24th
Tue
Face it. America IS the BEST. We invented democracy AND skateboarding.
I like being old and cool.
Apr
20th
Fri

Colton Dixon, EW&F

  • Chel: It's very Snow Patrol.
  • Brian: or Arctic Monkeys
  • Chel: [LOLs.] Wha?
  • Brian: Wha? It's a real band.
  • Chel: No!?!? [laughing]
[singing] The phone book actually isn’t that boring…. When you get to the yellow pages. You can tell a lot about a town from the yellow pages… . You could do a content analysis.
— Spouse of a social science methodologist, while watching Idol
Apr
13th
Fri
I don’t have anyone to sing me “Soft Kitty.
It’s like she Googled how to give a test.
— about one of his professors
Apr
12th
Thu
  • Brian: You see the guy who lives on the second floor who looks like David Beckham?
  • Chel: Uhm....no? [suggestive smile]
  • Brian: He petted Mance, and I thought, “You stay away from my wife.”